LOS ANGELES, CA – So I pull up a seat with my wife and get ready to see one hour of American Idol: The Finals. I don’t expect much and that’s pretty much what I get.
It started with David Cook singing a Police cover. Anybody watching the performance could see that this kid could not even sell himself that song, let alone the whole country. His voice was not so bad but I would have much rather been making myself a corn dog; and the show had only just begun.
The second contestant, David Archuletta, kicked off his set with Elton John’s “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me,” one of my favorites. He was boring for an old school Elton John Motown feeling, but he started forcing it and ultimately burying it 6 feet into the ground.
Back from a commercial break, Cook kicks off his second song, U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” and I think to myself, “Wow he’s playing guitar,” rather than thinking, “Jesus Christ, this kid gives no kind of energy.” Then here comes the chorus…”someone kill me,” I think to myself. His voice was way off. And the guitar playing? All I can say is that he’s not playing for three high school girls at a keg party. He’s playing for the world and he’s not giving his all. Simon gives him a six and a half score out of ten. I would have given him a five, and if this were a test, it would have been an F. The kid’s not bad, but he sure is no entertainer.
Archuletta now steps onstage for his second go-around with “In This Moment.” Ready, set, go! Awkward silence. Boring! Good voice though, this kid could do something if he only had a crazy person as a mentor, but he’ll figure it out on his own. What’s funny is that Simon tells him that he’s winning two rounds out of three so far. Well, that’s not so hard to do when you are against the ordinary.
Cook starts his third song, Collective Soul’s “The World I Know,” and it’s sounding very nice. Very, very nice. It’s just him and his guitar and that boy was feeling it. Cook kept his cool and it sounded good. Cook is a coffee shop all star in my book. Simon started running off at the mouth about how he picked the wrong song for his style. But Simon was dead wrong, and the performance was truly sincere.
Last but not least, Archuletta goes in for his last round. The lights go down, the crowd goes calm. Toes are crinkling wanting that last song. Everybody’s on the edge of their seats, when a young man opens his eyes to the sky and starts belting out a bunch of crap out of key. Attempting to sing John Lennon’s “Imagine,” the young Archuletta starts holding notes for far longer than he should be.
Ladies and gentleman, this is a very risky trick in real music and if not done right, its disastrous. Soul cannot be forced; it’s a feeling, not a music lesson. Simon said the performance was a knock out. I say the guy just threw in the towel.
Now onto the last episode of the season: The results show. Who would be the new American Idol?
They open the show with all the contestants singing “Get Ready.” Everyone’s dancing and there’s a very high level of energy filling the air. The only thing entering my mind is “Christ, this show is a cash cow!” Both David’s take the stage and sing “Hero” together. Archuletta’s voice is way off and the others aspire to be singing to a brick wall. I’m sorry but there’s nothing behind Cook’s face. No passion, as if LA was watering this kid down and getting beneath his skin. 
A perfect example of a “California wannabe” would be a Jason Castro with the dreadlocks. Jason, following a good performance by Seal and Saisha, looks as if he’d rather be in a fashion magazine than singing music for the world.
Another hotshot performance was on its way, and it would be a fantastic display of energy by missy Carly Simon. She and the girls would sing “Hard For The Money” together, and she would single-handedly steal the show from everyone else on that stage.
Shortly after, Donna Summer would join the ladies onstage and Ryan Seacrest would be dancing side stage – and he would look good doing so.
The girls were through and now came the guys. They started singing a Bryan Adams medley, only to be joined by Adams who performed at the show. I think to myself, Cook could learn a thing or two from this guy. He was soulful, and carried himself with great confidence, but most importantly a smile.
The show cuts to their 400th – or so it seems – commercial break, and as I am coming back from a very satisfying cigarette, I hear ZZ Top playing and I get goose pumps. Those guys looked fantastic! The song? “Sharp Dressed Man,” with Cook a tow. Cook was standing there, not doing much, but his voice was good. The band sounded great and just as groovy as ever.
About five minutes later, an Asian guy from the ‘reject’ tapes fids his way back to Simon’s presence and gives him some wonderful salutations and he breaks out into song with Randy and Paula joining on stage. Who could forget “You are my brother, best friends forever.” We are sure going to miss him.
David Archuletta takes the stage with One Republic, singing their hit song “Apologize.” All I can say about this song is that Archuletta sings it better than the very guy who wrote it.
There were other two performances by former Idol winners, Jordan Sparks and Carrie Underwood. Jordan was not bad, but she had kind of a Disney Channel vibe to her performance. Underwood just about stole the whole show. She was dressed all in white and carried herself as a warrior princess - strong and powerful. She would have stolen the night had it not been for an earlier duet by Brooke and Graham Nash twenty minutes prior. Now that was music! It was everything that everyone who plays music wishes to capture. I was truly proud for both of them.
The night is now ending and everyone’s getting ready for the big announcement. “Who will be the next American Idol?” I would much rather hear which one of my rock idols will be touring this summer, but because I’ve invested three hours of my time for this moment, I must admit my curiosity has been perked.
One final song from all contestants singing a George Michael tune, and then the man himself takes the stage and delivers a mild hint of his new album. Not bad at all.
In the end, Cook wins, as we all know. I know he’s going to need a lot of work with his showmanship, but he can sure sing.
Then again, I can dig a hole but that doesn’t make me a landscaper.
Photo by © WireImage
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